Why not make fireproof flags?

Contradiction?

I heard on Morning Edition (can't find a link though) that the government is still pushing forward on an anti-flag burning amendment.  That's disturbing enough but then they tell me that it'll probably pass with a huge majority.  Now I realize that the majority of the government workers are right wing nutjobs but why is this an issue for anyone with a rational bone in their skull?  Wikipedia has a quote saying this amendment is "a solution in search of a problem" and that's exactly what it is.  This is not something our very expensive government should be wasting time on especially since they are voting "yes" just so they don't look like unpatriotic jackasses come November. 

Let's get this straight, I'm not inviting you to buy a U.S. flag (made in Taiwan, of course), some gasoline and have yourself a barbeque.  I personally wouldn't ever burn the stars and stripes, however, why do we feel that this is something worth prosecuting let alone literally changing the Constitution to prevent?  If I burn a Canadian flag, should I go to jail?  A copy of the Constitution?  How about a dollar bill?  A picture of President Bush or Mrs. Bush?  A plastic mold of the Statue of Liberty?  What if I don't burn it but just rip it a little?  They say even allowing a U.S. flag to touch the ground or to be left in the rain is offensive.  Maybe the FBI should drive around on inclimate weather and shutdown all of the Perkins' to make us all feel better.  That's what this is all about, right? 

Eat this cake, go to prison!

Why aren't other things more offensive than flag burning made illegal?  U.S. flag boxers, thongs and swimsuits?  Why don't we make them illegal, too?  It's okay to poop on the flag but not to burn it???  I'm sure there's U.S. flag sex toys, toilet paper, and hemoroid cream out there we can make illegal as well.  Since we can do that, why not all thongs?  Why not anything that makes fun of the President?  ...or anything we just don't like the day we make a law about it? 

It's just a flag.  Say it out loud this time: IT'S JUST A FLAG.  It's a symbol of our country which in itself is an intangible object.  There are much more important things to get your flag panties in a bunch and this isn't one of them.  Get to work on the Iraq "war" we're in or maybe improving the lives of the American people instead of restricting them in one of the stupidest ways ever.