Baked Apple Death

I attempted to eat some oatmeal today.  Bad idea.  I only brought a "thing" of yogurt for breakfast and by the time I had reached the bottom of said thing, I was still hungry.  I went to get some water from the break room and started browsing through the "wheel of food" machine they have.  On the top shelf, behind a green, blinking "1.00" sat many cups of Quaker Instant Oatmeal Express, Baked Apple flavor.  The large green cups each seemed to exhibit a Wonderland-type "Eat Me" sign while the dollar slot said, "Feed Me". 

Eat Me!

Now, I'm not much for warm, gooey, soggy breakfast slime.  Never have I been interested in eating oatmeal, cream of wheat, or other "hot cereals".  No matter how much people would dress them up with brown sugar, fruit, or LSD, the thought of hot, pasty sludge rolling around my mouth turns my stomach.  I prefer my breakfast to be of the warm pancakes or crispy corn variety or at the very least a nice chewy granola bar. 

Despite dozens of years of experience, I decided to free the box of oatmeal from its plastic and fluorescent prison.  The office coffee machine provided the hot water and the office spoon provided the stirring action.  Roughly three minutes later the box sat at the bottom of my office trashcan still containing all but a couple spoonfuls of the offending goop.  The meaning behind this story is basically this: Don't be afraid to try new things but don't be stupid enough to try and eat things you know you don't like! 

As a small addition (pun), I'd like to wish a happy zeroth birthday to my new nephew.